Category: Untold Stories

  • Preface to The Second Wife’s Story

    Preface to The Second Wife’s Story

    the biography of Mary Davis Skeen

    There is a sign hanging in my mother’s laundry room. It says, “On this site in 1897 nothing happened.” But who knows if that’s actually true? Who’s to say nothing happened on that site. Right there. You know, on that very spot right next to the washing machine? If there’s no evidence of schoolchildren following a path to an old schoolhouse just down the road, a young woman milking cows, an old farmer stooping to clear a clogged ditch, or a native woman searching for firewood to warm her hearth, I’m betting that there were a whole lot of somethings going on not too far away, and every time I see that silly sign, I wonder exactly what those somethings were.

    Of course, I might be exaggerating a little, but the first log cabin was built in the area in 1877, so something could  have happened there. Mom’s laundry room memorial makes me think. We post memorials for all sorts of historical events, things like battles, negotiations, inventions, catastrophes, births of historical figures, and of course, deaths (to name a few). Those memorials can tell us a lot. And although I could probably visit the local museum to find out if anything happened in the general vicinity of my mother’s dryer in 1897, I was inspired by Edgar Lee Masters’ somewhat irreverent and semi-fictional collection of poetic epitaphs to look in a graveyard.

    I have always been drawn to cemeteries. In 1997 when Utah celebrated the 150th anniversary of the arrival the first wave of Mormon Pioneers, metal plaques emblazoned with the phrase, “Faith in every footstep,” began appearing on tombstones throughout the state. Those tombstones belonged to Utah pioneers who traveled by foot, horseback, wagon, or handcart, before the arrival of the transcontinental railroad in 1869. The year was 2001, and those markers were the first thing I thought of, so I headed for the first cemetery I could think of.

    I was raised in Utah and I have absolutely no pioneer ancestors, but I still remember the stories of courage, struggle, heartache and triumph that accompanied the many families who crossed the American plains mostly by foot. It was an unfathomable journey taking about three months. I tried it a few years ago by car with my daughter and granddaughter from Kentucky to Utah. It took us four days. Of course, it was a round-trip ride, which meant a total of eight days in an air conditioned car. By the time we arrived back home, we discovered that we’d picked up stowaways in the form of bed bugs along the way. I am in no hurry to try that trip again any time soon.

    By 2001 when my interest in graveyards had fully matured. The histories known, and the mysteries unknown, called to me like ghosts in a romantic novel.  So when I stepped into the Cemetery in Plain City Utah, I was hoping those ghosts would lead me to a story.

    And they did.

    Inscriptions on tombstones are not usually put there to make you laugh (even though some do). They are there to make you think. The family memorial I found that day left me thinking for years. Along with the pioneer grave marker, names and dates are inscribed on all four sides of the tombstone. I could tell just by looking at birth dates that this was the grave site of pioneer settlers, but that’s not what got me thinking. It was the birth and death dates accompanying nine other names; all children. In the Fall of 1870, and into early winter of the next year, eight of those children died. Now I knew there had been an epidemic of some sort and I  could see that there was a mystery begging to be solved.

    I was in college on that initial visit, and a single mom at that. I didn’t have time to look for clues and answers, but that story stuck with me enough that I knew I had to write about it. I used an essay assignment from one of my English classes as an excuse to put my conjectures into writing. The essay won second place in a department contest at Weber State University, and I kept it over the years.

    When I finished school and became an empty-nester, I finally started digging for the tombstone’s story. My first foray came up with some answers–enough to help me see that I could easily build a history around that grave marker. I went back to Plain City and took pictures of all four sides of the tombstone. What I found, shocked me. On the backside of the tombstone are the names of three of the children who died during the epidemic, and one more who was born and died in the following years. It wasn’t those children that surprised me, though. It was the inscription I had missed in my first visit at the bottom of the back side of the tombstone. It said, “Children of William and Mary Skeen.” I stepped back around to the front and looked at the bottom. It said, “Children of William and Caroline Skeen.” There were two different mothers and one father. This was a polygamous family.

     

    I grew up in Utah as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Most of the English speaking world knows us as Mormons. In recent years, active members of the church have cast off that misnomer, and choose the full mouthful of the title or simply use the acronym of LDS. Those who don’t know us well often conflate the term Mormon with polygamy. However, I am very familiar with polygamy. Many Utah pioneers practiced polygamy, and I had friends who were descendants of polygamous marriages. There were even a handful of families in my old neighborhood who still practice it even though it was disavowed by the LDS Church in the late 19th century. Current church members who enter into such unions are now quickly excommunicated

    Knowing what I know about Utah and polygamy, I won’t pass judgment on the pioneer families of the past, or discuss those who still practice it despite laws and church condemnation. But I am not blind to the fact that some sects have taken the practice much too far by forcing children into unwanted marriages. It’s because of that second marriage that I decided to focus on Mary Davis, the second wife of William Dolby Skeen. I have no plans to base Mary’s story on her polygamous marriage. I will build the narrative around polygamy at the point where it affects her personally, but Mary’s story is the story of her life and polygamy was a small part of it.

    I’ve lived outside of Utah for most of the time since I started my research, but that hasn’t stopped me. The internet was in its infancy when I started the project, but now I have access to nearly everything I need to complete my research. It’s a wonder to me that I could build a compelling biography of an utter stranger without ever having met her or having any access to written memoirs.

    I nearly missed Mary, tucked away as she was at the bottom of the backside of that monument. When I found her, I realized that her story is far more compelling than the location on the tombstone suggests. At a first glance, it’s easy to think nothing happened here. But from surrounding names, places, and dates, I could see that something had happened, and that little name tucked away at the bottom on the back side had been there and had played an integral role in the town’s history.

    It’s not her death that’s important, it’s her life. I don’t want Mary Davis Skeen to be forgotten, and I feel compelled to commit her to the memory of others who would never have known her otherwise. 

    We are surrounded on a daily basis by people living what they feel are ordinary and unremarkable lives, but if we make an effort to get to know them, we can learn valuable lessons and come to see them as crucial members of our community. Mary’s tale unfolds in bits and pieces. Like a patchwork quilt, it is colorful, warm and inviting. Her story includes heartache, tragedy and tribulation along with faith, perseverance and promise. While Mary’s story reminds us that happily ever after never happens, it also tells us that happy endings do.

    Please join me in my journey to tell Mary’s story. Your comments and helpful criticism are welcome and encouraged. Treat each post as rough drafts to Mary’s biography, as that is what they are intended to be. Mary’s story will be told one chapter at a time, and one month at a time, over the next year. My ultimate goal is to publish them together in a book. If you feel that you have information that may be helpful, or that will clarify ambiguities in Mary’s story, please leave a comment or contact me. And thank you in advance for your help!
  • Light Housekeeping Before Major Renovation

    Light Housekeeping Before Major Renovation

    January is the season for it.

    I made some cosmetic changes to StoriesFromThePast last year. I changed my background, and experimented with new designs, but as readership increased and I began making new connections, the potential of this project became clear. I was connected with readers in unexpected ways, and by the end of the year, StoriesFromthePast had taken on a life of its own. This is exactly what I had hoped would happen, but it’s too much and too little all at the same time.

    As StoriesFromThePast moved  full-steam ahead, life applied the brakes. I can see that I curses, foiled again.jpgneed more time to apply to this project, but instead of having more time as an empty-nester, I now have a little grandchild to take care of on a nearly-full-time basis. Not a problem, I thought, I’m a morning person anyway, so I could research, write stories, and revamp the blog while my granddaughter sleeps. Nope. The website isn’t making money yet, and our family can’t afford to wait, so I’ve had to take on a morning job teaching ESL online. Curses. Foiled again.

    I’m not giving up though. StoriesFromthePast has become the avenue for realizing my lifelong dream of becoming a published author. Well, technically that’s already happened, but I’m talking full-length biographies. Getting that first biography out takes time, and day-to-day living takes money. Not only that, but I have decided to get some professional consultation to make this work well into retirement. It looks like 2018 is the year for some major changes.

    While I’m preparing for this major overhaul, I am applying a few immediate changes.  I’m planning some new additions and streamlining to make it easier for both me and my readers while I am learning and implementing some new tricks of the trade.

    Since there are, on average, four weeks to each month (and occasionally five), I have decided to organize information I present by weeks. My current goal to publish one new article each week. It should look something like this:

    • Week 1: Stories and/or chapters from the lives of people who are no longer alive to speak for themselves.
    • Week 2: Cousin Connections
    • Week 3: Cousin landing pages
    • Week 4: A chapter from my own life: This is the part of genealogy I dread the most. You would think a writer would love writing about herself. For me, his is true only to the extent that I like sharing my thoughts and feelings about things I find interesting. However, I think we all share the responsibility for preserving our own past for the sake of our progeny, so I’m beginning this task publicly.
    • Week 5: Genealogy tips and tricks

    I don’t know if anyone else will be interested, but it is helpful for me to get my plans out in a visible way. I have not received a paycheck from my new job (I’m in training and  haven’t officially started yet), so it will be at least two months before I begin workshops to learn the business end of blogging. You’ll be seeing changes beginning next week, but I don’t expect the biggest changes to come for a few months at least. In the meantime, thanks so much for following and reading, and please don’t give up! You never know whose ancestor’s name is going to pop up next!

     

  • A Boy and His Sister

    A Boy and His Sister

    Warning: Despite my insistence that this blog is all about graveyards and dead people, it’s really about family history. This story is about part of my family, and it is part of my children’s history, so even though they are still alive to tell this story themselves, I’m going to tell it now to keep it from becoming untold.

    My baby boy turns twenty this weekend.  I haven’t been able to get him out of my mind because he lives nearly three hundred miles away. I have been too ill to travel for the last year or so. I’ve been having car problems too. So has Jake. I miss him terribly, but he promises to come and visit soon, and I can’t wait. Yes, this is the story of a boy and his sister. I’m getting to that–I promise.

    But first, a little about a boy and his music. I usually begin my day by listening to uplifting music, and today was no different. I  began by listening to “Bring Him Home” from Les Miserables, but that got me thinking of sons in general, which got me thinking of Jake. Again. And then I began wondering why I hadn’t listened to anything from Waiting for Compromise lately. In fact, I’ve been avoiding it.

    You see, Jake is the lead singer in a band (Waiting for Compromise). Or am I supposed to say was? I don’t know. He is one of three extremely talented singer/songwriters. Two  are brothers, and then there’s Jake. Jake moved to the other end of the state for a full-time job about a year and a half ago, and the two brothers have done a pretty good job of keeping their band going despite the fact that Jake is no longer around. In fact, they’ve even released their first album. Jake wasn’t able to be around for most of the recordings, so he doesn’t sing in many of them. But this one, “Morning’s Coming Soon,” brought me to tears:

    Jake does sing in this one. He’s the crazy blonde always up front and in the middle. It’s not the song itself that makes me cry, but the video montage, the fact that the boys are separated, and the lyrics. They probably did it on purpose just to make me cry. Well, it worked, so I’ve been avoiding their music for a while. To be fair though, Jake tells me it makes him cry too. (more…)

  • What I found in Plain City

    What I found in Plain City

    If you’ve read my Untold Stories essay,  you know that I had many questions that I needed answers to so I could finish telling the Skeen’s story. Over the years, I looked things up on the internet, just out of curiosity, and this last spring I made another trip to Plain City.  I took pictures this time, and added them to my collection of information from Family Search, Ancestry.com, and the history archives of Plain City.  I have pieced together a complete story, and I’m so excited to tell it!

    Please be patient with me as I put the finishing touches on the story of the Skeen family. As I get the story ready, here are some teasers for you: (more…)